“It is a paradox in the contemporary world that in our desire for peace we must willingly give ourselves to struggle.”
-Linda Hogan, Native
The Grandfathers have taught us about sacrifice. We have been taught to pray for the people in a pitiful way. Struggle and conflict is neither good nor bad, it just is. Everything that grows experiences conflict. When the deer is born it is through conflict. When the seed first grows, it is through conflict. Conflict precedes clarity. Everything has the seasons of growth. Recognize - acknowledge - forgive and change. All of these things are done through conflict.
The shape of our thoughts
“By shaping our thoughts with spiritual ideals, we are freed to become who we want to be.”
Addiction shaped our thoughts in its own way. Whatever their shape may once have been, they became misshapen once our disease took full sway over our lives. Our obsession with drugs and self molded our moods, our actions, and the very shape of our lives. Each of the spiritual ideals of our program serves to straighten out one or another of the kinks in our thinking that developed in our active addiction. Denial is counteracted by admission, secretiveness by honesty, isolation by fellowship, and despair by faith in a loving Higher Power. The spiritual ideals we find in recovery are restoring the shape of our thoughts and our lives to their natural condition. And what is that “natural condition”? It is the condition we truly seek for ourselves, a reflection of our highest dreams. How do we know this? Because our thoughts are being shaped in recovery by the spiritual ideals we find in our developing relationship with the Higher Power we’ve come to understand in the Fellowship. No longer does addiction shape our thoughts. Today, our lives are being shaped by our recovery and our Higher Power.
Just for Today: I will allow spiritual ideals to shape my thoughts. In that design, I will find the shape of my own Higher Power.
Finding Purpose in One Another
“Helping others is perhaps the highest aspiration of the human heart and something we have been entrusted with as a result of a Higher Power working in our lives.”
Many of us wanted to help others before getting clean, but once we started using, doing so became difficult. One member described it this way: “My heart aspired to help people, but my brain never got the memo!” At some point in early recovery, many of us have the experience of sharing and then seeing another member relate. Maybe they nod in agreement, or they shake their head in shared amusement or disgust at the insidiousness and insanity of our disease. Maybe they vocalize–“That’s right!”–or shed a tear. However they do it, they let us know that they know that we know–we share in the knowledge of the disease, and we share our experience with recovery, too. This is how we get clean and stay clean–the therapeutic value of one addict helping another. We share experience, strength, and hope; we share tea and coffee; we share the joy of staying clean and the pain of losing fellow addicts. We do it together. At many points along the way, we are reminded of our purpose for being here and being together. Maybe it’s when a nonmember asks, “Why do you still go to those meetings?” We might even wonder, Yeah, why do I? Then we remember–we are uniquely qualified to help other addicts, and helping addicts gives us purpose and keeps us clean. When we go through something clean–an unintended pregnancy, parents with dementia, falling in or out of love–we are rarely the first ones in the room to do so. We share what we’re going through so others can help us. Then we share what we went through so we can help others. Yes, we’re each other’s eyes and ears; sometimes we are also each other’s trailblazers, coaches, older siblings. We have a reason for being here. And that reason is one another.
A sense of purpose can fill that void I tried to fill with drugs. I will find purpose by sharing with and helping another addict.