“Telling about our lives is important for those who come after us, for those who will see our experience as part of their own historical struggle.” —Linda Hogan, CHICKASAW
How important it is for us to support one another! How important it is for us to know our culture and to share our experiences with one another! How powerful it is to be authentic and to hold no secrets! I am as sick as my secrets.
August 04, 2024
When is a secret not a secret?
“Addicts tend to live secret lives. It is a great relief to get rid of all our secrets and to share the burden of our past.” —Basic Text, p. 33
We’ve heard it said that we are as sick as our secrets. What do we keep secret, and why? We keep secret those things that cause us shame. We may hold onto such things because we don’t want to surrender them. Yet if they’re causing us shame, wouldn’t we live more easily with ourselves if we were rid of them? Some of us hold onto the things that cause us shame for another reason. It’s not that we don’t want to be rid of them; we just don’t believe we can be rid of them. They’ve plagued us for so long, and we’ve tried so many times to rid ourselves of them, that we’ve stopped hoping for relief. Yet still, they shame us, and still, we keep them secret.
We need to remember who we are: recovering addicts. We who tried so long to keep our drug use a secret have found freedom from the obsession and compulsion to use. Though many of us enjoyed using right to the end, we sought recovery anyway. We just couldn’t stand the toll our using was taking on us. When we admitted our powerlessness and sought help from others, the burden of our secret was lifted from us.
The same principle applies to whatever secrets may burden us. Yes, we are as sick as our secrets. Only when our secrets stop being secret can we begin to find relief from those things that cause us shame.
Just for Today: My secrets can make me sick only as long as they stay secret. Today, I will talk with my sponsor about my secrets.
August 04, 2024
Open-Mindedness and Spirituality
“A new idea cannot be grafted onto a closed mind.” —Basic Text, Chapter 9: Just for Today—Living the Program
“Approaching Step Two with an open mind was a real challenge for me,” a member shared. The concept that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity presents a real dilemma for some of us. “Thankfully, a thorough First Step pried my mind open enough to convince me that my way wasn’t working,” the member continued. “That surrender set me up for Step Two, and I came to believe that maybe this Fellowship thing would work for me.”
Each of us grapples with the meaning of “spiritual, not religious” within the context of our worldviews. The Basic Text promises that there aren’t any catches to the proposal that we find a Higher Power of our own understanding, and our experience bears that out. Some of us come with deeply held convictions based in a religious tradition. Others have secular beliefs to which we may be equally committed. No matter what our view or experience is prior to the Fellowship, we find that an open mind is an important asset, allowing us to consider ideas that are new to us.
In recovery, we find that being open to spiritual concepts enriches our own beliefs. We’re not being asked to swallow novel ideas whole, as we may have feared, or to replace a current belief system with some prepackaged dogma. Rather, open-mindedness allows us to learn from others’ experiences, taking what feels right for us and leaving the rest. It’s a graft, not a transplant. Instead of closing our minds to new ideas, an open mind frees us to try them out. If the graft takes, it may enhance our previously held beliefs. If not, it might still clarify our own ideas. In either case, growth results from keeping our minds open.
I will remember the benefits of a more flexible and open approach to new ideas, even those about the spiritual aspects of recovery.