“People need to wake up. They can’t hear the voice of Nature if they’re asleep.” - Vernon Cooper, Native
Black Elk, a Native, talks about the hoop of many hoops. He says that above the people is a hoop, a conscience, the total belief of the people. If the hoop is sick, meaning dysfunctional, co-dependent, filled with a lot of alcoholism, family abuse, violence, racism, and sexual abuse, the people can get used to this and think this is normal. In other words, the people are asleep. If we have left the spiritual way of life, the people are asleep. If we are giving our power to another entity, the people are asleep. In most tribes, there are Coyote Clans. The job of the Coyote Clan people is to wake the people up. They need to become a nuisance and irritate the people. We must return to the spiritual walk.
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to everyone, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
There is no such thing as a “failed” effort in spreading the message. Even if the person we reach out to doesn’t change immediately, we have accomplished two purposes. We have planted the seed of recovery in the mind of the person with whom we have shared our experience, strength, and hope. And we ourselves have stayed true to our path for another day. Rarely does someone leave such an encounter without a sense of gratitude. Sometimes we are practicing our spiritual principles without even realizing it. When our co-workers or other acquaintances know some of our history and see what kind of person we are today, they know where to go when they have a friend or loved one in need of our help.
For many, these principles are the cornerstone of recovery. We truly believe that “we can only keep what we have by giving it away.” The paradox becomes evident, for in giving, we receive.
Facing uncomfortable situations and taking loving action is a demonstration of maturity and grace.
Some of us took conflict avoidance to a new level. We didn’t just steer clear of confrontations; we adopted a general policy that uncomfortable situations are best avoided. We applied this rule in our personal lives, with our families, at work, and in the Fellowship. Given a chance, we avoided any circumstances that might be awkward. We made excuses and skirted around the very experiences that build bonds among humans. Embarrassed by our own unease, we dodged the friend who needed comforting, declined invitations to gatherings, and switched meeting attendance following an embarrassing outburst.
When we resisted showing up for life, our social awkwardness left us feeling incapable of taking the simplest of loving actions. In active avoidance, we may have convinced ourselves that we didn’t care–not even a little; our conduct was certainly consistent with that sentiment. Despite our every intention to remain aloof, we find ourselves learning to care as we begin to recover.
A desire to increase our level of engagement with the world may sneak up on us in time, or it might not. Some of us are loners by nature; it’s just how we’re wired. Finding comfort in solitude can be a beautiful thing. Isolation is a different matter. When we need help but refuse to pick up the phone, we might be in trouble. We learn to identify when enjoying our own company gives way to isolation and to take the actions necessary to stay safe and on the right path.
The Steps help us figure out who we are and who we’re not. Experience is a great teacher, boosting our confidence in simply being ourselves. Instead of avoiding awkward situations, we walk through them. We enjoy the payoff when we get to the other side. When we reflect on our actions, we can see our growth. We let go of our old ways of feigned indifference and find ways to be ourselves in the world. Our willingness to grow and to be ourselves in the world shows that we are evolving into a more mature version of ourselves.
I will reframe my outlook on my own discomfort and take on opportunities to practice maturity and grace while awakening the spirit within myself and others.