Finding Purpose in Conflict and Fellowship
“It is a paradox in the contemporary world that in our desire for peace we must willingly give ourselves to struggle.”
-Linda Hogan, CHICKASAW
The Grandfathers have taught us about sacrifice. We have been taught to pray for the people in a pitiful way. Struggle and conflict is neither good nor bad, it just is. Everything that grows experiences conflict. When the deer is born it is through conflict. When the seed first grows, it is through conflict. Conflict precedes clarity. Everything has the seasons of growth. Recognize, acknowledge, forgive, and change. All of these things are done through conflict.
Helping others is perhaps the highest aspiration of the human heart and something we have been entrusted with as a result of a Higher Power working in our lives. Many of us wanted to help others before getting clean, but once we started using, doing so became difficult.
At some point in early recovery, many of us have the experience of sharing and then seeing another member relate. Maybe they nod in agreement, or they shake their head in shared amusement or disgust at the insidiousness and insanity of our disease. Maybe they vocalize, “That’s right!” or shed a tear. However they do it, they let us know that they know that we know–we share in the knowledge of the disease, and we share our experience with recovery, too. This is how we get clean and stay clean–the therapeutic value of one addict helping another.
We share experience, strength, and hope. We share tea and coffee. We share the joy of staying clean and the pain of losing fellow addicts. We do it together. At many points along the way, we are reminded of our purpose for being here and being together. Maybe it’s when a nonmember asks, “Why do you still go to those meetings?” We might even wonder, Yeah, why do I? Then we remember, we are uniquely qualified to help other addicts, and helping addicts gives us purpose and keeps us clean.
When we go through something clean–an unintended pregnancy, parents with dementia, falling in or out of love–we are rarely the first ones in the room to do so. We share what we’re going through so others can help us. Then we share what we went through so we can help others. Yes, we’re each other’s eyes and ears. Sometimes, we are also each other’s trailblazers, coaches, older siblings. We have a reason for being here. And that reason is one another.
The path of spiritual growth and recovery involves recognizing and embracing the conflict inherent in life, just as the seed must struggle to break through the soil. It is in this struggle that we find clarity and purpose. As we face our challenges together in fellowship, we realize that helping each other and sharing our experiences are the highest forms of service and healing. This unity of purpose not only helps us to stay clean but also fills the void we once tried to fill with destructive behaviors.
Today, I will recognize conflict as a natural part of growth and find purpose by sharing with and helping another in the fellowship.