“Everyone has to find the right path. You can’t see it, so it’s hard to find. No one can show you. Each person has to find the path by themselves.” - Charlie Knight, UTE
There are certain times in our lives when a voice whispers to us. The voice doesn’t always talk. Usually, we hear it best when we are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Inside every person is the knowledge that a Supreme Being exists. Sometimes a restlessness occurs, making us feel the need to do something, go somewhere, or wonder, “Who am I?” Often when this happens, we feel lost. Inside everyone is the natural, built-in desire to walk the Red Road or seek a relationship with the Creator. No one can force us to make this journey. We must make this journey because we want to. This journey is not on the outside. The path is inside of ourselves. It is inside that we must begin our search.
Our addiction enslaved us. We were prisoners of our own minds, condemned by our guilt. Guilt is one of the most commonly encountered stumbling blocks in recovery. One of the more notorious forms of guilt is the self-loathing that results when we try to forgive ourselves but don’t feel forgiven. How can we forgive ourselves so we feel it? First, we remember that guilt and failure are not links in an unbreakable chain. Honestly sharing with a sponsor and with other fellows shows this to be true. Often the result of such sharing is a more sensible awareness of the part we ourselves have played in our affairs. Sometimes we realize that our expectations have been too high. We increase our willingness to participate in the solutions rather than dwelling on the problems. Somewhere along the way, we discover who we really are. We usually find that we are neither the totally perfect nor the totally imperfect beings we have imagined ourselves to be. We need not live up to or down to our illusions; we need only live in reality.
Just for Today: I am grateful for my assets and accept my liabilities. Through willingness and humility, I am freed to progress in my recovery and achieve freedom from guilt. The path is inside me, and it is there that I must begin my journey.